myself

20060711 night+full moon+musky

After returning home from England, today is the date that i have already settled for 9 months. I dunno why that i found myself lost of energy for working, even playing. Everything for me is tasteless and fucking boring. But it doesn't mean that i don't laugh. I always smile and laugh. However, i found my life in 2006 is wasting as shit.

I wanna scream, i wanna escape from this city. I hate being here no matter whom i did really care of. Everything is meaningless to me.

If 1587 was "a year of no significance" in Chinese History, 2006 is "a year of fuckimg boring" in my life. I'd rather to end my life now whatever the future will be.

Life seems to run smooth, everything seems to go right. What am I thinking of? Why someone's shadow always follow me as a ghost? Why I laugh but i don't feel really happy? Why I am not satified with everything i have already had? Am I too ambious? Why I hate people on street even they are totally strangers? What's wrong am I??!!

sorry everyone. I dunno why i have such anger and unpatience at the moment. I cannot lie; i cannot cry. Perhaps, i'm getting old and understand that time fles too fucking fast.

Forgive my rudeness. I am not usually a foul-language person.

I will be alright after a good sleep.


Madonna - X-Static Process

I'm not myself when you're around
I'm not myself standing in a crowd
I'm not myself and I don't know how
I'm not myself, myself right now

Jesus Christ will you look at me
Don't know who I'm supposed to be
Don't really know if I should give a damn
When you're around, I don't know who I am
I'm not myself when you go quiet
I'm not myself alone at night
I'm not myself, don't know who to call
I'm not myself at all

I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the process I forgot that I was special too
I'm not myself when you're around
I'm not myself when you go quiet
I'm not myself all alone at night
I'm not myself standing in a crowd
I'm not myself and I don't know how
I'm not myself, myself right now
Don't know what I believe

I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the process I forgot that I was special too
I always wished that I could find someone as talented as you
But in the process I forgot that I was just as good as you